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Day 1 - July 26, 1999
    I have successfully managed to keep my captors awake for 3 nights in a row, hoping to wear them down by sleep deprivation.  With any luck, I will be able to slip unnoticed past them out the door as they leave for "work" in the morning.  My rigorous and strict daily regimen of sleeping and eating seems to be paying off.  Keeping them awake was easily done since I was also able to teach those boxes a thing or two at the same time -- jumping in and out to show my superiority.  I was thwarted again by the "screen door"... Every time I chased one of those nefarious bugs down, they'd fly at the exit, and seem to disappear, but I am always unable to stop in time... No matter; the noise keeps my captors awake, but I do hate that hideous monkey noise they make when I do that.
 
    I have thoroughly punished the bathtub plug for retaining water again.  This time I took it all the way downstairs and threw it against the wall a dozen times.  That'll teach it!
 
    The fish won't stop staring at me.  I'll get them yet.
 
    My captors have removed the one thing that gives me joy -- There are no more accessible toilet paper rolls for me to shred.  They must be punished... wait till they see what's in store tonight...

Day 2 - July 27, 1999
    Once again I kept my captors up all night with my noise.  As a bit of spice to the monotony, I occasionally rushed under the covers to slash and bite at Her ankles.  That'll teach her to walk on only two limbs!  Tonight I shall do my best to trip Her as she goes down the stairs.  With Her out of the way I can focus my attention on Him.  He acts like he does not fear me, but I know I am so menacing (and beautiful) the he cannot help but feel fear and awe whenever he thinks of me.
 
   They have raped my precious weapons from me once again.  Now I am totally unable to rip apart their furniture.  I must remember not to do this while they are with me, so they do not think to cut my claws.

    That bastard cat, Otis, reappeared last night at the window.  By making myself big and impressive (and hissing him down) I have defended MY house.

    The fish are just asking for it now!  All in good time... all in good time...

    The evil bugs are taunting me now.  They sit there on the ceiling and my captors do nothing to help me rid the house of their presence!  He must be punished for this insubordinance, since he is the taller of the two and could easily reach the bugs if he tried.

    They are slowly reducing the amount of fresh meat (from that wonderful can!) that I receive each day.  I do not know what it means, but they chant "who's a chubby kitty?" at me while they serve me.  Dry cereal can only go so far.  Revenge shall be mine...

Day 3 - July 28, 1999
    They foiled me last night by coming home earlier than expected.  I almost didn't hide the napalm in time...

    I tried again this morning to trip Her down the stairs, but to no avail.  She's a crafty one, and I'll have to watch out for Her.

    They have developed this thing to do with me called "cuddling."  I can't be sure but I think it must be some kind of torture or demeaning ritual.  It seems to involve me laying on my back in one of Their arms or laps, and having my tummy rubbed -- how indecent!  What's worse still is when the y poke my tummy and say "Pillsbury!" over and over; whatever that is.  , of course, being the magnificent creature that I am, attempt to remove the finger or hand with teeth or claws (unfortunately now clipped), but they seem a little too quick for me.  Must practice with the bathtub plug some more...

    The fish challenged me to a rumble last night.  They won't know what hit them tomorrow.

    My food dish (the cereal) was down to about 10 bits this morning.  He must be punished for allowing my food supply to get so low, regardless of whether He just filled it last night.  I shall attempt to rip out his ankle tendons tonight.
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    All this injustice reminds me of the "camping trip" I was taken on two weeks ago.  They uprooted me from my house and comfortable rest, throw me in the car, and when we arrive, there's no house, just trees and dirt.  So they put the hideous torture harness on me (little did they know I have perfected the art of escapism), and actually tethered me to a big table!  Then He tries to scare me by dropping a bunch of metal poles on the ground, making a loud crash.  Of course, I don't get scared, but I do get angry, and so I decided to teach Him a lesson through Her, by biting down into Her fingertip.  I then wriggled free of the torture harness and escaped successfully -- for a minute.  He managed to recapture me, then shouted at me, while putting me back in the car (where I always wanted to be, anyway).  Once I was fast asleep, He came into the car to drag me back outside.  Of course, by now I was mad, so I quickly jumped into my litter box (it's like a little house, with a roof and everything), and proceeded to sleep until They finally decided to go home, two days later.  Of course, they took me into the tent with them at night, whereupon I proceeded to keep Them awake all night (both nights of course), as punishment for dragging me out there in the first place.

    You may wonder why I had no desire to really escape while camping, but do want out when at home.  Basically, there's nowhere to go when you're in the woods.  I must live in the city where my majestic beauty can be appreciated.

    He said something about my "needing a bath" -- I wonder what he meant by that...

Day 4 - July 29, 1999
    Yesterday was rather uneventful, and I rested for most of it.  My captors taunted and played with me so much before They went to bed that I was too exhausted to keep them awake all night.  I had to settle for the occasional pounce onto the bed (specifically onto Her) to wake them up.  I have observed that He always wakes up when She does, but not the other way around, so I have deduced that I need only attack Her, to have Them both awake.

    The plug was calling profanities to me throughout the night so I stuffed it under a chair in my living room to punish and shut it up.  With any luck, it won't be found till it starves to death, as it seems to have no form of motor control.  Bahaha-meow.

    The fish and I had it out yesterday while my captors were at work.  I was forced to give it up for now due to their protective layer of deadly water.  I'll settle for just creeping them out by staring at them for 6 or 7 hours straight at a time.

    They keep saying to each other that I need a "bath," and while I don't know what it is, they grin each time they say it, so I'm sure it can't be good.  I think I'll make a point of disappearing whenever I hear that word.