\

Monday - September 13, 1999
    OK OK, so I know I haven't written in a while, but I have just been so busy with keeping my captors up at night, making menacing noises at bugs, and generally trying to keep Them tired by constantly knocking things over and making a mess of the place. Trust me, it's working.

    So last night, I'm happily exploring the office room, and They had foolishly put a bunch of mostly open boxes in stacks in there. I thought it would be fun to leap back and forth over the boxes, but before I knew it, I had leaped over a box and caught my foot on it, knocking it over. Normally this would not be a problem, as I would have bolted for Downstairs (thus, They could never pin it on me!), but, sadly, I was leaping away from the door, into a corner, when I hit the box. It fell, blocking my escape route, and I wasn't able to leap out in time. He came in shortly afterward (it made a LOT of noise when it fell), and I was forcibly removed from the room.

    Meanwhile, I had my claws raped again. Every time I get them nice and sharp enough to do some serious damage, They hack them off again. Can I help it if I'm so menacing?

    The fish seem to be developing an immunity to bleach. I'll have to start using Fantastik.

    I found out the plug is responsible to the people in the drain leaving. I have been beating it nightly. 

Friday - September 17, 1999
    It was decided that I be chosen for the Deadly Water Torture ritual, involving the infamous "shampoo"... I am NOT amused. After the "bath," She began pointing a loud thing that blew hot air at me, throwing off my rhythm as I was trying to dry myself. I realized (being as smart and cunning as I am) that the hot air was drying me, so I proceeded to let the air dry my back, as I dried my legs and stomach myself. I then went to sit on Her pillow making it nice and wet for when She went to bed later.

    I punished Them by running up and down the length of the bed most of the night between Them. Many times during the night, though, He picked me up and tossed me to the floor. Of course, this just made me try harder, so after a couple of ejections by that method, I began to purr nice and loud whenever I got to the head of the bed... Eventually, though, I got too tired to go on. Of course, by then, the alarm had gone off, and they had to get up anyway. I feel a real sense of accomplishment now.

    The people in the drain have gone for good. I think they died. All I know is that the plug did it. I am currently plotting my revenge....

    Of course, the Deadly Water Shield that the fish use is diminishing (my captors call it "evaporating" ... whatever)... Soon the water will be low enough that I will be able to pick them off one by one, and I know I must do this before taking out the plug, because they will tell my captors what happened.

    My captors tried out an "IQ Test" for cats on me earlier this week. Got it from some magazine. Nuts to Him; He said He figured I'd score about 40 or less, but, because I'm SO smart, I scored 114!! That's "Above Average"... and I wasn't even trying! He seemed crushed that He was so wrong, but it just goes to show that my show of stupidity toward Him is working, because He's fallen for it hook, line, and sinker... hmmm I'm hungry...