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Monday - 2000
    It's been just over a year since my last writing in this journal... My paws hurt already!

    If only I had some thumbs... the number things I could break would be endless!  As is, I must make do with my other skills... such as the ability to run into table legs and knock Their crap over.

    On Wednesday, She was stupid enough to leave her sandwich unattended for  more than 3 seconds on the kitchen table. With a master's skill (because, as I mentioned, I have no thumbs), I was able to delicately extract the precious meat from the sandwich. I have no idea why They insist on eating all that other junk and ruining the taste of the meat with it...

    I have all but given up on the toilet paper, though. He spent a long time a few months ago, fashioning some kind of shroud for the roll on the wall (He says He's putting a picture of it online soon). Once again, I can see where thumbs would be a benefit here. Meanwhile, it's basically impossible for me to have ANY fun with the TP rolls unless They leave them out on a counter somewhere.

    A few months ago I finally worked out how to open a cupboard door... then They moved all the good stuff out of my reach. I HATE being little! 

    When we moved last year, we thankfully left that infernal Plug behind. The new one is even MORE obnoxious though! It has some kind of freakish duck attached to it! Worse yet is its friend, a bigger ducky. She sits in the tub for her baths, and tells it to squirt me from across the room! And when it's not squirting me, both of Them have it scream at me... all They seem to do is squeeze it... I must have my revenge, as you well know by now, journal, so I have taken to beating the big ducky repeatedly when They are not home. The big drawback is that its always IN the tub, which is usually WET.

    I had a blast last year when They decided to put a rather fake tree up and put little balls all over it. It was a great way to pass the time when They went out all day, to just bat the balls around the house. Unfortunately, most of them broke.. which seemed to piss Them off.. This year, the tree is back up, but the balls are all out of reach... It didn't exactly stop me till the tree fell over as I climbed...

    Anyway, on to happier things, I have come to accept my role as captor in this household. Plus, we're on the third story, so where the heck am I gonna go?? Once in a while, though, we go for car rides, and one day, I'm making a break for it!